Perhaps you are like Victoria (name has been changed), and you feel that you are in a loveless marriage.  I hope this advice I gave to her will help you to fight for your marriage, and trust God to make a way, where there seems no way.

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Dear Vicky,

I am sad to hear about the state of affairs in your marriage.  But I am glad that you are a Christian and you believe in God.  It means that there is hope in restoring love in your marriage.

The truth is though the marriage wasn’t entered into with wisdom, God still loves you and God still honours your marriage.  If you honour Him and obey Him, trust Him and depend on Him, listen to His guidance and submit to His will, He can do wonders in your marriage, in your life and with your husband.

Having read An Emotional Affair, you should know that there is nothing impossible for God to do.  We have to believe, trust and obey.

Now, it is going to be hard to keep doing the right thing in your marriage.  Especially when you’re not getting positive feedback, affirmation, love and understanding from your spouse, it might seem like you’re wasting time and energy.  But your marriage is the one place that you can never give TOO MUCH love!!!  You just need to be relying on God and drawing your strength from Him.  His grace truly is sufficient!

This will require you getting closer with God.  You will need to be attentive to the Spirit.  You will need to be faithful with the little things, like calling your husband, being kind and polite, being generous, being compassionate, being thoughtful, being available, being understanding…  Consider Paul’s teaching on Love in 1 Corinthians 13.  It endures all things, hopes all things and believes all things…

This is what will save your marriage.  When you do your part and pray to God, He will do the work of changing your husband’s heart.  He is the only one you can count on to help you.  No one else can change your husband’s heart.  They may frustrate him.  Leave it with God.

I don’t know how long it will take…but you will need to be long-suffering, faithful, resilient and dutiful as a wife. Allow yourself to receive love from other legitimate sources like friends and family, and enjoy your life!  Don’t let this get your down.  God is really enough for you…your husband is extra.

You may also find these posts on my blog helpful in having the right perspective: SHE MADE LOVE AGAIN, FAITHFULNESS – LIVING WITH YOUR CHOICE, GREAT EXPECTATIONS and AS GRACIOUS AS GOD.

I wish you all the best with your marriage.

Love in Christ, Ufuoma.

Photo credit: http://www.unsplash.com

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