Issues of Life

Reader Questions: If you can kiss with ‘liberty’, can I have pre-marital sex ‘by faith’?


This question was posed by a Brother in Christ, in response to my post on Lagos Convo.  I think my answer to him should help settle this matter about the legitimacy of kissing, and its distinction from sexual immorality.  I would have waited til next week to publish it on the Reader Questions series, but I feel the issue needs to be urgently addressed.  Thanks for reading with an open mind.

Dave wrote:

“So does it mean if I have premarital sex *in faith*, I have not sinned.
Please, for the love of God, let’s stop coloring sin. The standard of the Lord stands sure, having this seal, the Lord knows them that are his, let everyone that names the name of Christ depart from iniquity.
For your consumption, lust from the heart generates into all forms of sexual sin.
I kissed before in my courtship, when I examined my heart, I stopped it.
May the Lord grant us understanding.”

My response:

No Dave, it doesn’t mean that you can have pre-marital sex *in faith*.  Premarital sex is fornication, and that is clearly spoken against as a sin in the Bible, and even in the New Testament.  When the Bible speaks of sexual immorality, it includes fornication, adultery and homosexuality (1 Cor 6:9), which are acts of sexual intercourse with people to whom one is not legally married.  Paul also addressed acts of incest, a type of fornication, but with a family member, in 1 Corinthians 5, which some in the Church were accused of.

I don’t understand why people keep missing the issue here.  You see kiss and you read SIN!  You have already come with a biased mind, and cannot begin to open your mind that you may understand.  You are like the Pharisees, who were blinded by religion!  Kissing is not a sin, it is an expression of love and intimacy, which is why Paul told the Believers to give each other holy kisses (Rom 16:16).  And since romance is not evil, even romantic kisses between Brethren can be holy!  What it comes down to…as with all things, is our heart!  Is it filled with lust or love?

We know that gluttony and drunkenness are sins that Christians shouldn’t commit.  Why?  Because they are clearly spoken against in the New Testament (Gal 5:21).  However, eating and drinking with faith, love and wisdom are not sinful!  Read Romans 14.  Understand the difference.

Don’t add sins to the Bible that God didn’t put there, otherwise, you add condemnation to yourself.  However sound or wise your counsel on sexual purity may be, let it remain that – GODLY ADVICE and not COMMANDMENT.  Godly advice should be heeded with wisdom, but commandment from God applies across the board, and He alone is in the place to make such legislation, which are not open to debate.  Even Paul was able to distinguish his counsel from God’s commandments (1 Cor 7:610 and 12 as examples).  So, do not condemn the free with your human reasoning (Matt 12:7).

But and “if our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our hearts, and He knows all things.  Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God…” (1 John 3:20-21).  If you examined your heart and God told you kissing is wrong for you, then stop it.  But if my heart does not condemn me on this issue, I have liberty and confidence in God.  I will also point out that I am married, and I am not trying to justify myself, but liberate those who are being made to bear a false burden.  This Puritanical doctrine is like the yoke of the Pharisees on modern day Christians (Luke 11:46).

Also, consider this “For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon!’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look at this glutton and drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and of sinners!’ But wisdom is vindicated by her actions.” (Matt 11:18-19).  Clearly, John’s conscience must have pricked him not to eat anything other than milk, honey and locusts, for that was his portion as ordained by God (Isaiah 7:15).  But Jesus was free to eat anything!  To each man according to his calling and faith in matters of liberty.

And finally, you are most certainly right that God knows those who are His, and all who call upon His name must depart from iniquity (2 Tim 2:19).  What you are wrong about is calling kissing a sin!  You are not judging righteously, but by mere appearance (John 7:24), and so are in danger of being judged by YOUR false standard (Matt 7:1-2).  God looks on the heart and He judges all.  If I kiss amiss, my heart will be pricked, and I must stop it.  But if I give a holy kiss, with a right spirit towards God, I am condemned neither of God nor man!

The one who eats everything must not belittle the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted him.  Who are you to judge someone else’s servant?  To his own master he stands or falls.  And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand” (Rom 14:3-4).

I wish you will come to the knowledge of your glorious liberty in Christ, and stop being religious.  “For the Law was given by Moses, Grace and Truth came through Christ Jesus” (John 1:17).

Sincerely, Ufuoma.

Got questions?  Email me@ufuomaee.com.

PLEASE NOTE THAT CORRECTIONS HAVE BEEN MADE TO MY COUNSEL ON THIS POST.  CLICK HERE TO READ MY REVISED POSITION ON PRE-MARITAL KISSING.

Photo credit: http://www.abiafactsnews.com

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6 replies »

  1. Don’t add sins to the Bible that God didn’t put there. That made me laugh. Yeah, I agree with you. Some Christians can argue out such things as sins whiles undermining what God has plainly said He abhors. Thanks for sharing, Ufuomaee 👍

    Liked by 1 person

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