THE MARRIAGE ABCS
Copyright © Ufuomaee
PASSION. What would you be without it? Dead, I suppose. Passion is our drive. We must be passionate about something enough to hope for its fulfilment and keep on living.
Passion is not synonymous with love, but with strong emotion. A vocation, such as marriage, calls for passion! The person we have pledged to share our lives with needs to know that we feel passionately for them, and that we are passionate about our commitment…enough to weather any storms that may lie ahead.
Aside having passion for your spouse, you will and should have passion for other things in life. Though it may be the fantasy of many, no one can truly handle being the sole passion of another person!!! They will feel drained. Used. Caged. Frustrated. Such intense passion (aka obsession) may even dampen whatever passion they have for you. It is needful to have other things in life that stir you up and make you happy and bring out the best of your potential. This also makes you an all round attractive person! So, if you are looking for a mate, pursue your passions.
You may not know your passions early, but when you meet the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, you will KNOW them by how they illuminate your other passions in life! They will confirm your passions, even if they do not share your passions completely. They will fuel your passion, inspire you to dream and to achieve. One thing they will not do is stand in the way of you and your passion. This is one way you can tell who is meant for you.
And just as they kindle and support your passion, you will do the same for them. Your will connect on this level, and like ‘yin and yang’, if I may use that, you will FIT. If you are Christian, one of your mutual passions, which will bind you ever closer will be your passion for Christ. Because you are both passionate for Christ, one will not be pulling the other down or away from God, but both will be encouraging and inspiring the other a deeper fellowship with God and good works towards all men. And as you meet this need to grow deeper into God, your relationship will be filled with joy and passion!
PURPOSE. When you key into your passion, you will identify your purpose in life. I believe that God has given us each passions, so that we may have a purposeful existence. And some of us (not all) will find a partner in a spouse, to assist us in achieving our purpose. Marriage, itself, is not the purpose of our existence. If we act like it is, we will be miserable, even in marriage!
Woman was given to man, first for a COMPANION (aka Friend) and then a HELPER (aka Partner), that together, they may have dominion over their world. The union of marriage has purpose. Every individual has a purpose. It therefore connects that your individual purposes will merge without conflict to support a united purpose in marriage. If however, you observe that your passions do not relate, and your purposes seem deviated, it would be foolish to assume that you have any business together in marriage!
Many go their whole lives never knowing who they are, let alone their purpose. They may have many passions, some may even be conflicting. Some people may feel like they have no passion at all. You may be one of those people. Don’t worry about it. Simply follow your passion to discover your purpose. Even people who followed what they believe was their purpose early in life, may have learnt more about themselves, and discovered a new and different purpose. It comes with maturity. It also comes with knowing God.
The main point I would like to make here is that if you know God…you will know your spouse if and when you meet such a person. You won’t be confused about your purpose. You won’t be immature about your passions. And you will easily identify them by how you connect on both passion and purpose. They will also easily identify you, because if you are walking with God, your mate will most certainly also be found in Him (2 Cor 6:14)! So if you want to know your mate, get to know God…
PROSPERITY. Properity is the inevitable end when you walk in passion and purpose! The Bible says “he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD” (Prov 18:22).
To clarify, prosperity is not the goal. It is the FRUIT! You should never go in search of prosperity, otherwise, you will be blinded by the deceitful of riches. You will be as one chasing a butterfly. You also do not marry so that you will find favour! That’s not what the verse says. It says that WHEN you have found your wife (who connects with your passion and purpose), you will receive God’s favour in your marriage.
Prosperity may not spring up suddenly on your marriage. Don’t assume that if you are married, and you are not yet prosperous that you have not received favour from God… Don’t ever fall for the trick that you must have married the wrong person, which is why you are not blessed, and so you need to divorce and marry the right person to be blessed! God is merciful, and He honours our marriages, as we have seen in B for Blessed to Bless. Even if we made a mistake, God will use our marriage to teach us and bring out our godly nature, if we are willing to be submitted.
The difference is, if we had obeyed God and followed His guidance before marriage, we would not find ourselves in a marriage where we are constantly striving. Both partners would have been at a place of maturity, where both are following God, and as such, are already walking in His love and grace. They will begin to enjoy the favour of the Lord on their union from the beginning, and the natural challenges that come with life will be easily overcome, because they are a STRONG and ORDAINED unit, and they put their trust in God!
Once you are married, however, your partner is Mr Right or Mrs Right. If your passions and purposes are conflicting, it is time for you to do some FORSAKING. In your marriage vows, you would have promised to FORSAKE ALL OTHERS for the sake of your union. You will need to rediscover your passions, and work together on a new and UNITED purpose. The greatest and most promising purpose any couple can have is to glorify God with their marriage. If that is your purpose, you will most certainly succeed, because you are lined up with God, going where He is going, and He is going to help you!
Forsake all you ever thought your life would be and discover all that your life COULD be, if you will make the effort to get to know God and know your partner more intimately. This can be a great adventure, depending on your attitude. It will be hard at first to forsake these dreams, which may have kept you hopeful all these years. But you are not forsaking them for nothing, you are forsaking them for Christ – the pearl of great price (Matt 13:45-46)! You are forsaking them to learn LOVE, and to bear the most blessed fruit in your marriage, which is a union that looks like Christ and the Church. And on this mission, you will certainly find new passion, purpose and prosperity in life!
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