Dear Ufuomaee,

hello ma. can a Christian lady marry a Muslim brother, who by all standard is good,by that I mean he is morally responsible n disciplined. though he promised to convert to a Christian because i told him that’s the only reason I will marry him, but I don’t know if that is safe. p.s: I am sorry for the mood of the question, I am kinda down. pls I am asking as regard my sis

Dear Reader,

First of all, what does the Bible say?  I am sure you both know where the Bible tells us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14-18)…  Even those, who say that they will change for you!!!  And probably, ESPECIALLY those who say they will change FOR YOU!  Because, you can sure that they are lying, and saying just what is needed to get you to do what they want.

The kind of person you should consider marrying, is someone who wants to change FOR GOD, not for you!  Someone who is convicted by the Gospel, and who has already accepted the truth in Christ Jesus…and who is striving to live in obedience to Him.  Someone who loves God MORE than you!!!  Because that is the only kind of person, you can trust to love you like Christ loves the Church, which is the least you should expect in a marriage.

If you go against godly counsel, it is to your own peril.  In this life, and potentially the next.  Marriage is hard enough for two Christians, who agree on EVERYTHING, to make it work, not to mention, one unbeliever and one disobedient believer, trying to accomplish the same feat!  Don’t mess with marriage.  Don’t even try it!

They say who you marry will either make you, or break you.  You are looking for someone who will complement you, who will strengthen your faith in God, who will help you to fulfil your purpose, not someone who you will be endlessly praying for God to convict, to deliver, to change etc etc.  You don’t need a husband who is transitioning in his faith…or who is new in Christianity.  Such a one is unstable.  Let him grow in Christ!

And you also need to question the strength of your faith…  Do you love this person more than God?  So that you will disobey and dishonour God to have them?  That is idolatrous, and you will find yourself at this person’s mercy in marriage.  What you want is to always be at the mercy of God, and so the most important thing to you is to have God’s blessing and favour in your marriage.

“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3).

There are so many reasons why inter-faith marriage is not recommended.  For starters, there are sure to be disagreements on how to raise kids, how to spend money, duties of husbands and wives etc.  And for Christians, we are told NO!  End of discussion.

Just trust in the wisdom on God.  Obey Him.  Wait for Him.  Listen to Him, and He will honour your submission and obedience with His blessing.  It may or may not come in the shape of a man, but it will be worth your sacrifice.

Please don’t pine for this man, or any man.  Let him go.  Surrender him to God and abide in Jesus.  For without Jesus, you can accomplish nothing, married or not (John 15:4-5).

Sincerely, Ufuoma.

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