THE MARRIAGE ABCS
Copyright © Ufuomaee
Love is tricky business. The advice on falling in love and staying in love seems so contrary. There are so many pitfalls in this, and no matter how hard you try to avoid it, someone always gets hurts. Most are just happy not to be the one who does. The loser. But if a relationship fails, both are losers. And in trying not to be a loser, you show that you are a loser, because you will never truly experience the power of love until you yield to it.
Until you surrender to it, you have never known love. And it is worth knowing love. Those who have surrendered, even though they have been hurt can attest that it was worth letting go, trying to protect themselves from hurt, and reveling in the magic that is love.
Real love requires real sacrifice. And the first thing to die on the altar of love is your ego! Seriously. Stop playing hard to get and just BE hard to get!
You can’t do love with everyone, because it is not really love. It isn’t special. It isn’t deep. It is cheap and a counterfeit.
So, if you really want to get deep with someone, and yield in love with another human being, then have a standard! Value yourself. Not everyone should have a chance at breaking your heart. Know your value, and go for someone who appreciates it, and who also has and knows their value too.
And when you find someone who is worth it…don’t be afraid to surrender to love. Quit with the games! The games are for losers! If he or she is playing games, then they are not worth it! They are not it! They are NO ONE SPECIAL.
They are not being wise, nor careful, nor taking it slow because they are nursing a broken heart. If they are still nursing a broken heart, they are not READY to consider marriage. And if marriage is not on the agenda, then what are your wasting love for??? How deep can you go, when you are only testing the waters? Seeing where this leads…
What you are doing is satisfying your ego, feeding your flesh, appeasing your loneliness. It is selfish and wicked to engage in a relationship that calls for love, and not to actually offer love! And love has wisdom. And Wisdom says: “I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, until he please” (Songs of Solomon 8:4). This means, don’t stir up love unless you are ready for it. And again, we are warned: “Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?” (Prov 6:28). This means, if you play with fire, you will be burnt!
If you do not heed wisdom, you will get burnt. You will damage yourself for love, and hinder your ability to surrender to love because of fear of being burnt again. But we know that “…there is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18). And we cannot truly walk in perfect love, until we know what it is… Perfect love was depicted on the Cross, and we are called to love that perfectly… (John 15:12-13).
The world doesn’t know love. They teach and offer a counterfeit. Their kind of love is dangerous and it doesn’t satisfy. It poses to heal, but it leaves many sick and addicted to a drug that steals their joy.
As Christians, we have and know the real thing. We have a standard, and that is Christ. And if we want to enjoy that sort of love, we have to be the sort of people that demand it, are worthy of it, and are ready to give that sort of love! And this is the love we ought to yield to:
“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away” (1 Cor 13:4-8 KJV).
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away” (1 Cor 13:4-8 NIV).
If you are in Christ, you are empowered by His gracious Spirit to love like this (Phil 4:13)! This is your potential in Him, to be like Him, and to show His kind of love in marriage to your spouse. Do not settle for less than this. And when you find someone special, who also knows Christ and appreciates what real love is, yield to its power… Do not be afraid.
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