Unrealistic expectations in marriage have been called the “Silent Marriage Killer”. This dishonourable title is actually well earned, because our expectations pave the way for disappointment, bitterness and resentment, which steal our joy from enjoying whatever is good in our marriage. So it is important that as we guard our hearts with all diligence, we must also guard our expectations in marriage (Prov 4:23)!
Some people say that if you have no expectations, you will not be disappointed, but I would disagree. Having some reasonable expectations is good and needed. There are some basic things one should expect in marriage, and one should reject. Expectations are a type of hope, and without hope, there is no sustenance of life and joy. You are as the living dead. And you can also destroy the hope and joy of your spouse, if you act like you care about nothing and nothing moves you. They will stop making efforts to please you or to change, or even to recognise you in the marriage. And your low or no expectations for a blissfully unhappy marriage will still be dashed!
Yes, it is safe to assume that it can only get worse. You can expect to…
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