I wrote this poem in the night, for a friend of mine who is hurting so badly in her marriage. I also know the burden and pain of carrying a Cross and I have counselled too many women going through terrible marriages, that sometimes, I feel like all my words are inadequate. This is a cry out to God to come to our aid and deliver us from all these troubles…or give us the grace to bear it day by day.
What is this You have called me to, Lord?
What sort of mental, physical and emotional suffering is this?
What is this Cross You have asked me to bear?
What purpose does it serve?
Lord, please tell me, because I don’t know…
I don’t understand it.
I don’t understand why You would expect me to endure such misery.
Because of what?
What future glory can be worth this hellish existence?
Lord, I am human. Just flesh and blood.
Yes, I have a spirit too. But it’s not my spirit that hurts…
Every day, Lord, I wonder, when will this end?
When will the joy You promised begin?
When will I begin to see this Vision that only You can?
And will that ever make it okay?
I long to see You. I long to hear Your voice.
I long to feel Your touch…and know that You’re not just an idea.
An idea I have made real to make sense of all of this…
I long to feel Your angels and to be in Your real presence…
To be assured that this Faith I have believed is real…
And worth my sacrifice and pain;
Worth my continual denial of self.
I see so many others suffering,
And I have run out of words to console them.
I have run out of signs to show them.
I have run out of strength to defend Your truth,
When their truth is that they are dying, in every sense…
And the thing they believe they want or need,
You have denied them.
How can I show them that it pays to be good and faithful,
When the good suffer worse for faithfulness…?
You said this world is not our home,
But they don’t want to hear that…
They want to live. Now. And smile. Today.
I want to live. Now. And smile. Today.
But if You will show Your face…
If You will do something…anything to convince me that
None of this is indeed worth comparing to what You have in store…
Then I can hang in there…another day.
It’s one day at a time, Lord Jesus.
Just one day at a time.
Copyright © Ufuomaee
Sisters, and Brothers too… Let’s listen to Yolanda as she ministers through these songs.
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