Issues of Life

Pursue, Provide and Protect

I usually write for the ladies… Today, I want to write for the gents. I usually write from personal experience, but today, I’m writing from an understanding of a husband’s duty to his wife and family.

We owe it to feminism for the blurred roles in the family. Women emancipation has often caused confusion to both women and men. They are crying in the streets… “you don’t have to slave in the kitchen anymore”, “you’re free to get a job now”, “you can even run for President!”

The ladies are running out of the kitchen and out of every other enforced label, trying to prove that they can run the world like men… and that men are not even needed at all. I believe in the original ideals of feminism, but this is feminism that is not submitted to God. It is not informed or guided by God, and so, though it should flow in a stream and bring nourishment to all, it has gushed out, breaking the banks of the river and is flooding people’s lives with confusion and misery.

Men don’t know what their role is anymore. In trying to be politically correct, many don’t hold to chivalry or exercise courage or honour. They have been bullied into silence, and so they don’t know how to lead in a world that demands and demeans their leadership.

But what we all need to know is that men and women are different! Not just biologically, but socially, emotionally, physiologically and more. It isn’t appropraite to force them to carry out the same duties, because when everyone is the leader, nothing gets done! No one takes responsibility and everyone is to blame. We need to understand the essential differences between the sexes, and support both sexes to live in harmony, not in competition or conflict with each other.

Especially in the home! If society doesn’t need the distinction, most certainly, the home does! A woman shouldn’t be expected to protect her home from attack, any more than the man is expected to nurse the babies. A man has the duty to pursue, provide for and protect his wife and his home.

Before he marries a woman, a man seeks for a good wife and courts her. When he is in pursuit of a wife, it shows his maturity and readiness to serve as a husband. However, a woman in pursuit of a husband is often unattractive. Even after their wedding, he still has the duty of pursuing her, by showering her with love and affection. It just so happens that women need this affirmation of love more. For men, their most fundamental affirmation of love is respect, hence the emphasis that is laid on women to submit to their leadership in marriage.

I’ve never met a woman who respected a man who had no desire to provide for her! She might love him… but very soon, that love will be eroded as the cares of the world attack their home. It’s not that she can’t, won’t or shouldn’t work, it’s just that being and feeling loved by a man comes with the expectation that he will care for her, by trying to meet her needs… and going so far as to even satisfy some (or all, if he’s able) of her wants too…

A man’s duty to protect his home can not be over-emphasised. There are many attackers of the home, but the husband must be the primary spokesman or general when going to war against these enemies of the home. The enemies come in all shapes and sizes…

There are the seductive women, many who enjoy chasing unavailable men. There are the flatterers, who pursue women, desirous of attention they don’t get from their husbands. There are the in-laws, who, unfortunately, don’t always accept the wife and make her life a living hell (or maybe, it’s the husband whose manhood is constantly under attack by his wife’s family). There is strife, financial or other challenges that attack their efforts to thrive as a unit. There are also political (e.g. neo-feminism) and spiritual (e.g. sexual immorality and confusion) forms of attack against the family as an institution and the man as the leader of the home.

Women are often pursued by men with promises that they will be cared for and looked after. A woman, whose husband satisfies these duties, wants for nothing!!! And a man who loves and honours his wife by continually pursuing, providing and protecting will find that his home is blessed, as his wife returns the favour with love, respect and trust!

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11 replies »

  1. The stance you take confuses me. We live in a world of modern weaponry, with gender-independent guns, and women can be just as quick as any man with a knife. I’d say a lot of women are just fine swinging a baseball bat too. I’m fine with women serving in the infantry as well.

    Some men have more estrogen, and some women have more testosterone. The only thing that cleanly separates men and women… women can have and nurse babies. I don’t see the need to define a cookie-cutter male “role” (or non-role) outside of that. Let each couple (if it’s a couple, let alone a heterosexual one) decide who does what for themselves.

    I realized partway into my response, however, that your stance probably has a lot to do with religious beliefs. In that case, I’m not sure I can really argue. If I’m mistaken, however, I’d love to know where you’re coming from.


    • Hi Scott,

      You’re right that my views are informed by my Faith (or religion as you may call it).

      If you don’t share my beliefs, we are likely to disagree on this issue. However, you should know that I’m also an advocate for women’s rights. I do understand the origins and basis for feminism, but like any issue, there’s potential for error, and modern feminism is verging on man-hating.

      We don’t have to deny gender/physiologically differences in the sexes in our defense for equality. My belief is that God had an order and a design which is beautiful and enables us all to live in harmony rather than competition and conflict.

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I understand where you’re coming from, but I think there’s some tension between our two worlds though, when the man decrees himself as “protector of the household”, and a woman gets offended by that. On the other hand, however our viewpoints may differ, I’m glad we both agree that “hating is bad” 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • I want my writings to be read and appreciated by the world, but I’m sure to face opposition. I actually write with a Christian audience in mind, so it’s not to offend, but to edify and encourage.

        So encouraging Christian men to defend their duties to pursue, provide and protect is in the best interest of them and Christian women who desires a man to honour her in that way. I don’t believe a Christian woman will be turned off by a man who wants to serve and protect her!


  2. “a man who loves and honours his wife by continually pursuing, providing and protecting will find that his home is blessed, as his wife returns the favour with love, respect and trust!!!!”. 👌 😍

    Liked by 1 person

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