Issues of Life

The Boyfriend And The Husband

The boyfriend has it the best!!!  He can do no wrong, and every good deed he does is golden 🙂

The husband, on the other hand, can hardly get it right!  Any good deed he does is suspect.  I mean, what is he getting at being so nice?

It’s a paradox with us ladies, how we trip over the little things our boyfriends do for us, reminiscing on them for days on end, and thinking how he’s such a keeper.  Marry the man, and though he does the same things and more, you might hardly notice.  Why?

I mean, a boyfriend gives you flowers, and you’re glowing.  A husband provides lighting for your home, but he gets no praise.  Husbands have it hard.

Maybe it’s just me, but I suspect it’s not.  Maybe it’s because when we’re single and dating, we’re easy to please and find it easy to love.  We want to be reasonable and affectionate, so that the man will think we’re wonderful and marry us.

But after we’ve got him, the standards change.  The same ol’ same ol’ won’t do.  Though the man tries to live up to his new responsibilities as husband (and probably father), we want him to also keep up with the chasing game of romancing us.  We’re not as reasonable as when we were dating.  We’re now harder to please and easily disappointed.

Ladies, let’s be reasonable and give our husbands a break.  They’re human too.   They have a lot of responsibility on them, and though they may not do the ‘thoughtful’ things they did when trying to win our hearts, if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll see how much he dies for you everyday.

Is it how hard he works to provide?  Or the time he spends fixing things around the home?  Maybe, it’s the consideration he shows when he lets you watch your girly flick, when he’d rather watch a live match.  Or the time he spends with the kids so you can get a nap?  These gifts are priceless!

Start appreciating them one by one, and you might remind him of the reasonable, affectionate lady he proposed to!  And he may not need any prompting at all to buy you chocolates or flowers, or take you out to dinner.  However, if funds are tight, appreciate the little ways he makes up for it in cooking meals for you, or complimenting you on the ‘tasty’ leftovers he’s eaten three days straight!

You may find that the only one who changed is you, and perhaps you need to open your eyes and see how lucky you are!

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25 replies »

  1. Let me just add this to my list of things that scare me about marriage. I wonder how many ladies will agree tin you on this.

    You make a great point and I just may refer to this post on my next blog post.

    It’s also reassuring to know at at least one woman gets what good husbands go through to keep their wives happy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Naija Bachelor for stopping by my blog! Do read more and share… I do believe that there are many more women out there that agree with some. A lot of these things are subconsciously done, and we just need someone to point out our error. You might also like “How Ufuo Got Her Groove Back”


  2. I guess I’m one of the lucky ones… I only have to look at my husband to see the love in his eyes.
    *pass the bucket*
    That’s what happens when two hopeless romantics get together!
    I feel sad when I see husbands (and wives) work so hard but it goes unnoticed/unappreciated by their spouses.
    Great post 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hmmmm. For me, it’s been winding upwards. Husband and wife get the smiles, thank yous, hugs, conversations, sitting on the floor just empathising with the others rough day or stomach upset. We just get better each day at being patient, kind, keeping no record of wrongs etc (and I am counting from first day of dating till date in marriage). It can only be God and I am grateful.

    Liked by 2 people

    • That’s great to hear! Congratulations on your loving marriage. I think consideration, understanding and realistic expectations are essential for keeping the peace and growing the love. Thanks for visiting and contributing to the discussion!


  4. This is one of the main topics that I write on. Long term relationships and marriages can be very hard, because it’s so easy to take the other person for granted. It’s so easy to stop seeing the little things they do, because they have always done them.

    It’s so important to slow down and pay attention to the little things. To notice and appreciate the good things that you have in your life and that your partner does for you.

    If everyone did that, I think the world would be a much happier place.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I got to know of your blog through Lagosconvo and I must say that your words have a lot of depth to them. I also love your way of writing. Well done and keep up the good work.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Teekay, I’m so glad you stopped by! Thanks for your kind words too. Please do read and share, and let us encourage one another to good works 🙂

      God bless you!


  6. This looks like a chastisement for the ladies and praise for the men. But it can also go vice versa.

    As a man, I would admit that I have taken my wife for granted sometimes. I guess I’m not the only one. But that doesn’t make it right.

    While I agree that wives should cut their husbands some slack, I will also add that men should do more in pleasing their wives. It is part of loving them as God commanded us to do.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh no, it’s not. It’s more of an observation and a caution. I think I and we say much about what men (or our spouse) should do for us, but this post was really about looking in. Definitely, there’s more that our spouse (or husband) can do to up their game, but like the message in BE THE WOMAN HE NEEDS, change starts with the woman (or man) in the mirror. That’s why I want women to consider if they are being appreciative of their husbands.

      Cheers, Ufuoma.


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