Ekem had this question to ask in response to my post: He’s not psychopathic, he just doesn’t love you.  The article was re-published on Lagos Convo, where she made her comment:

“What if this happens in marriage, what should the lady do?”

I think my response will help others who are probably going through this and wondering the same thing.

I wrote:

That’s a very good question Ekem. I have also wondered that myself.

As you know, I have quite a few stories to advice those who are married. Even the one we just concluded, An Emotional Affair… Lola was feeling like the girl in this narrative, who wasn’t getting attention from her husband. She was the one checking up on him, and she hardly saw him at all. She was lonely. But we were all able to see that she was not justified in accepting attention from another man.

The rules are different in marriage, that is why you mustn’t rush into it! You have to choose wisely, because it is for life.

If you are in this situation and you’re married, you have the options of:

1. Talking to your partner about it in a non-accusing way
2. Seeking counsel from a third party who knows you both, with permission from your spouse
3. Seeking professional counselling if that hasn’t helped your spouse to respond to your needs
4. Praying (of course) continually for you to have the right perspective and spirit
5. Look for opportunities to show love and affection and be a light (inspire your spouse)
6. Be thankful for their good qualities and for God’s blessings in your life
7. Be patient (Love is long-suffering and endures all things (1 Cor 13))
8. Receive love from other legitimate sources like friends of the same sex, your family and children. You need to give and receive love, so don’t deny yourself legitimate outlets.
9. Review the situation with your spouse in a month or so, and see if your communication is better
10. Be content. Trust God and let Him work on your husband.

If you have more questions, please feel free to ask me, and I’ll try my best to answer.  You can also ask anonymously by emailing me@ufuomaee.com.

Love in Christ, Ufuomaee.

Photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com

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