I just shared a comment on this post I read on The Naked Convos. I really connected with the writer’s perspective, and I think many single ladies have felt or feel the same way. I hope my comment will help you to exercise some wisdom in this matter.
“I totally feel you dear. I was just like this when I was single and dating. Very expressive, caring, full-on… It doesn’t work for everyone, and men may misinterpret it.
You asked why all the rules, and who makes them? I asked the same thing back then, but I’ve come to know that it is simply wisdom to exercise some self-control and patience and discernment. The Bible says “a fool utters all that is in their heart” (Proverbs 29:11), and that’s how we behave when we don’t want to give a damn about the rules and the proper way to conduct ourselves in a budding relationship.
We shouldn’t be free to do whatever we feel. That’s reckless and selfish, and can only lead to people getting hurt. We know that even as children we had to be told “don’t do this”, “don’t touch that”, “don’t go there”. It’s because we didn’t know what we were dealing with, and left to our own devices we would have made a mess of things, hurt ourselves and others badly.
The same way, singles don’t really know what it means to love. Yes, you will feel the strong emotions, but it really takes the commitment of marriage for love to be tested…for you to choose to love even when you don’t feel like it. And it is in marriage that you are safest to be completely free and be a fool for your spouse. If you are that way with someone who you are not married to, you are as the fool who utters all that is in their heart…you are not exercising wisdom, and taking a gamble with your heart.
I know it might feel like you know how you feel and you are sure and everything…but really, you don’t. And the person you are dating doesn’t know themselves that well or you that well either. In marriage, you have confessed to each other and yourselves the depths of your feelings and expressed your enduring commitment to your relationship to the world. This is the time for love to go to full throttle!
I’m sorry this is long, but the reason for these boundaries is for love to have proper expression. The world may have different reasons for why relationships follow a certain pattern, but Christianity is guided by the wisdom of God, who is Love. His kind of love hopes all things, believes all things and endures all things…it protects (1 Cor 13:4-7). You can’t love like that unless you are bound in marriage…and it would be foolish to love someone who is not your spouse that way.
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I think we have all been through that awkward stage of getting to know someone. I don’t think it changes from when we had our first crush or when we were…
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