I don’t know what is wrong with me this days, fear is really gripping my soul to the extent that I find it difficult to sleep and in d process headache comes in. Am not believing in myself the way I used to before.
If given d same task as my peers nau, I always do it with fear nau cos I don’t want to make mistake but in the process of doing it d right way I always end up doing it the wrong way.
I know I have something in me that does not let me Express my self very well but I don’t know aw to get out of it even when I try. And wen people say it’s nothing, I still find it as something.
My head and mind is always heavy.
What is really d problem or what is my problem????
My dear, you are not alone. I can relate and I think there are more people who are going through a similar experience. Your confidence has been shattered. Your self-esteem is low. You’ve probably been disappointed, oppressed or abused. Your sense of who you are is fragile and you may feel like you are a loser or a failure.
The truth is, for the most part, the battle is in your mind. What you believe about yourself. What you accept from others too and chose to carry as your own issues/burdens. You are actually in control of this, you just need your mind renewed/restored.
For me, I think what is missing is your connection with the Father. I think something is broken in your relationship, and instead of going to resolve it, you may have ignored it from ignorance of the impact or fear of actually dealing with the issue. You may now think that God is angry with you or frustrated with you or even against you. And so, you don’t even know how to talk to Him nor relate with Him anymore. And you are afraid of His judgement, rather than living in awe of His love.
The truth is God isn’t angry with you. I can say that with confidence. He may be upset with something you did, or how you responded to a situation or seem to be living your life without thought of Him. But He certainly isn’t out to get you or holding a grudge. He actually wants to reconcile. He wants you to realise where you are, what you have done, and turn around and ask for His forgiveness, help and guidance again. He wants to talk to you, and smile on you and work with you on His perfect plan for your life. He wants the best for you.
Truthfully, He loves you so much. And that is the knowledge you need to restore your mind with. That God loves you and is watching over you, and is so eager to fellowship with you. He sees you as you are and as you could be, and He is so EXCITED about who you will become, if you will just rest and abide in Him.
How does knowing that God loves you change how you feel about yourself and what’s happening in your life? Well, it should give you peace. When you aren’t ‘fighting’ with God or wrestling with your conscience, you have the peace that passes all understanding. Even in a storm, you know that God is with you. You have courage and will not be afraid, because He is with you and you can always talk to Him and ask for His help. You don’t feel alone. Nor forsaken. Nor in danger. You feel safe and secure and nurtured.
Even when your relationship with God is fine, you can still experience fear, which is from the devil. His weapon of choice is fear, but we must remember that God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.
In my own experience, many years ago, I suffered from this phenomenon known as sleep paralysis. It was like there was a demon tormenting me when I was sleeping, and even with prayer it kept coming back and getting worse. It got to a point that I was afraid to sleep! One day, it happened, even after I prayed and I didn’t know what to do. I asked God to help me again, and He actually told me to REST IN HIM.
Those three words were profound and had DEPTH of meaning. I knew He was reminding me that:
- I am His and He is watching over me;
- I should trust in Him and His power over all creation;
- Evil has no power over me when I abide in His shadow.
I laid back to sleep and then, when I was falling asleep again, they came, and my instinct was to resist and fight it. But I remember what God had just told me, REST IN ME. And so, I stopped resisting and fighting and just rested, and I fell asleep! And they had NO POWER to oppress me again. They tried again, but I was quicker about resting in God, and they were defeated. They no longer trouble me.
When I get afraid, I remember who my Daddy is. I call on Him. I rest in Him. That is why our identity in God is so important.
Whatever it is that has stolen your confidence, let it trouble you no more. God makes everything new. God says YOU ARE ABLE. God has blessed you with POWER, LOVE and SOUND MIND. Do not be afraid, but take courage. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. As long as you are in Christ, you are not a failure.
Please refresh yourself in the love of God. Remember the One who loves you and who died for you. Go to Him and be reconciled and be at peace with the Father. When that is settled, rest and abide in Him, who holds all the power and authority in the world.
Do you have any advice for this reader? Feel free to share in the comments section. Also, if you have any questions about Christianity or from reading my posts, feel free to ask me too. If it’s private, email firstname.lastname@example.org.
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