Critical Thinking

How is my sex life any of your concern?

This episode is part of my podcast series DEAR ATHEIST… If you prefer, LISTEN NOW.


Somewhere in the world, there’s a forty year old man sleeping with a 17 year old girl.  Are you concerned?  What if I told you that he has been sleeping with her for the past 3 years?  Are you now concerned?  What if I said that she’s in fact his daughter?  Are you very concerned now?  Angry even?  Then, might I add that he also compels her to entertain his friends?  If you’re not outraged by now, you should really question your humanity, or at least get a mental health examination!

At different points in my portrayal, different sorts of people would have been concerned. You might find that your experience of sexuality numbed you of any emotion until the last piece was painted. However, you finally had cause for concern – Child Abuse and Exploitation!

Aside from our experience of sexuality, our knowledge, understanding, values and beliefs would have dictated at which point we were offended by this man. Is it any of our business who the average person sleeps with, if it is consensual and legitimate? Umm… It really does depend on your definition and understanding of consensual and legitimate.

A 17 year old girl could be sleeping with a 29 year old man she met at a party. Legitimately, according to the law (in most lands) the man is doing no wrong, if the girl consented. But what if they had an arrangement… That he would pay her school fees if she slept with him? Is that real consent? Was the girl coerced or is she making an informed decision for her life? Are you concerned about the choice this girl is making? Do you think her parents might be concerned?

It isn’t all that clear cut is it? Liberal feminists argue for a woman’s choice to prostitute herself for a living. But the consequences of that choice means that the sex trade will never come to an end, and the sex slave who hasn’t made the empowered choice to sell herself remains exploited, while the liberated escort earns her living…

So, what I am saying here..? Your sex life may be private to you, but it doesn’t stop me from being concerned about what it is doing to you now, what it will do to you in the long run, and how it is impacting how the world is viewing legitimacy and consensual sex. Your liberation may come at a price for my unborn daughter who may end up being born in a world where nobody will be moved by the actions of the man I earlier described!!!

You may disagree, but I believe that if chastity was still upheld as a value today, we would have:

1. Less teenage pregnacies
2. Less abortions
3. Less cheating husbands/wives (for lack of the other woman/man)
4. Less broken homes (and single mothers)
5. Less troubled children (dealing with the impact of divorce and anger between their parents due to marital unfaithfulness)
6. Less child sexual abuse/exploitation
7. Less sexual offences (including rape and incest)
8. Less prostitution and pornography
9. Less sexually transmitted diseases (particularly HIV/AIDS)!
10. More happy homes!

And I’m sure there’s more. I can think of another already – a better self image among women and girls!

But this isn’t why I keep harping on about celibacy, abstinence and sexual morality. This is just my way of letting you know that there’s a basis for my concern! The ultimate reason I teach these things is because I am Christian.

I know you’re confused by the many Christians you see who do not seem to care about sexual morality. Their lack of adherence to this principle and practice of Christianity does not undermine the Truth, only their witness. I do believe the Christian standard was put in place to save us from all these problems and the sexual confusion that results from promiscuity and sexual immorality.

The bottom line though, I want everyone to come to the knowledge of Christ, and be saved from the coming judgment and destruction. That is a post for another day! I believe God has the answers to the world’s problems, and one of these answers is abstinence. So that is why I stand strong on my Christian beliefs and teach as many as will hear that they should abstain from sexual involvement outside marriage.

This post was inspired by a friend of mine on Facebook, who, as an Atheist, objected to my views on THE PETTY THIEF AND THE ARMED ROBBER. Thanks for the inspiration to go deeper into this. Please keep your contributions coming!

Photo credit:

If you liked this post, you might like UFUOMAEE’S SEVEN REASONS TO WAIT


Are you blessed by this ministry?  Why not partner with me?



36 replies »

  1. I don’t know how to put in words how this piece resonates within me. I feel you should have a bigger platform to share this. More people need to hear what you have to say and you sure have a lot. I connected with this on an intellectual, logical, emotional and spiritual level. God bless you ma. Permission to reblog?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Having been a victim in my Childhood of sexual abuse much more than once, yes I felt anger as I read the evil that you shared about Ufuomaee although I have forgiven those who hurt me and do not seek revenge, it still concerns me that many Children suffer what I did and so loose their childhood joy and innocence, which can cause promiscuous behavior later in their lives or Homosexuality.

    Thank you for sharing Ufuomaee what some would rather not know but if it makes people stop and think and take action when needed, than it is well worth it.

    Christian Love Always – Anne

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wonderful post. The explanation was rather clear and it leaves no room for interpretation, in my opinion. So I genuinely hope people do not misconstrue the message. That happens rather often online. If you could alter things, would you have remained celibate?

    Liked by 1 person

      • I think I worded this incorrectly on the premise your post on Heartbeat, was based on your experience. That was a lapse in judgment on my end, when you used the name Janet. I thought it was a nickname of sorts for you. Terribly sorry about that.

        I must ask then, do you think celibacy is a concept, in your opinion of course, that can combat the over-sexualization of our society? It’s everywhere, and it begins younger each year it seems. It’s in songs, music videos, movies, magazines, etc.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I thought as much!!! I figured some people might get confused, so I tagged it ‘fiction’. However, though I’m not Janet, I did make the mistake of giving my all to a man I wasn’t married too. However, before I married my husband, I was celibate for almost 6 years.

        Yes, I believe that abstinence is the key to living the abundant, joyful and peaceful life God planned for us. In our rebellion, we have heaped many sorrow on our heads! Repentance means turning around and sinning no more… As many as a willing to repent and obey, they can tap into the peace of God!

        Thanks so much for your contribution 🙂 Stay blessed!


  4. Thanks Ufuomaee for this article on sexual exploitation. you raise a grievous issue , where one in three women have been subject to abuse or exploitation. The church needs to be a refuge for people who are caught up in the pitfalls of our society, we need to show caring and understanding, as Jesus example of the woman caught in adultery, He showed His care and understanding and sought to help and restore.


    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for visiting and contributing to my blog, Ron! You and Anne are an inspiration to all of us. I studied Prostitution for my thesis and it was so heart breaking reading about what is common place in the sex trade, which is the second largest industry in the world, after drug trafficking! I’m glad for the opportunity to enlighten others through my blog. Thanks for the encouragement and sharing your understanding too.

      Blessings, Ufuoma.


    • Thanks for the endorsement, Mr T!!! Thanks for visiting my blog. I hope you will share it, as I believe a lot of people need to hear this. It’s been too long though, let’s keep in touch! Thanks for reaching out.

      Cheers, Ufuoma


  5. A 17 year-old sleeping with a 41 year old man is still illegal
    She has a charity that fights such acts. Love, love, love her.
    I shared a spoken word video I titled ‘Pornography is many times the celebration of sexual exploitation’ you can find it here: It can help guys overcome pornography: You can find it here:

    Here is how Christine Caine overcame sexual abuse, it can help you in counselling when you come across anyone who has been abused and they are many. Read the article here:


  6. ufuoma, I hear you 100 percent!!! Although you do not belong to the same faith, the principle is the same. Abstinence is a HUGE part of Islam and it is always emphasized. Part of the reason women are asked to cover is to avoid sexual attraction which is ofcos the first step. We always get criticized for not liberating women and so on because our religion does not conform to what society has defined as freedom today. Bottom line- perception, beliefs, values, religion shapes your definition of everything. Well done!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh, Ufuoma, my heart breaks for you and the anger I feel I don’t know what to do with except lay it at the feet of Jesus and pray for these young girls with all my heart. May the peace of God and the comfort only He can give you surround you and make you whole! There are wonderful men out there who honor God, there children and their wives. My father was one of them, and my husband another.We must pray theses predators are brought to light and their evil ways brought to light. Blessings sweet one. Debbie

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Debbie! Thanks for visiting and commenting 🙂 However, you might have misunderstood. I didn’t write as a sufferer of abuse, I wrote in defence of them. The piece was inspired by a discussion I had on Facebook with an Athiest who challenged my article about homosexuality and sexual immortality (The Petty Thief and The Armed Robber).

      Liked by 1 person

      • You are right , I did misunderstand. I am so thankful you are not a victim. I wrote a whole blog about being the “different” one who was a Christian and stood for purity during a very sexual revolution and drugs of the 60’s. I felt very alone but I knew God had something special for me. It’s written in sequentialtial posts in my blog. Bless you for standing up for the purity Christ teaches.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. This post is well written and the points well taken! There is so much sin and darkness of every kind in this world, yet even so, there is still the presence of God. Imagine a place where God is not present…in fact, He is never present. Who would want to think of such a place, let alone live there. Well such a place exists and it is called hell. Sadly, many here and now are making a home for themselves in hell. If they could only imagine the alternative, the complete antithesis of death and hades, and repent…


    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s an interesting perspective, the accommodation of hell in the world. Makes one wonder if many will know the difference! I guess when everyone is as evil as evil can be, they won’t be so happy with the state of things.

      Thanks again for reading and contributing 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • It’s my pleasure. I agree that evil people will have a different perspective of what evil is…but to the Nth degree! So sad when it could have been avoided in their earthly lives!

        Steve 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  9. I agree with the points raised in this post.
    Preaching abstinence and fidelity may be an unpopular message in this so-called world of sexual revolution. But God does not expect any less from us. His commands are always right; we ignore them at our own peril.
    Thank you Ufuoma for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for your encouraging contribution! We need to stand firm and united to keep the light shining for the young generation who think it is impossible to live holy lives.

      Cheers, Ufuoma.

      Liked by 1 person

Tell me what you think...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.