Hi, guys! It’s been a very long time since I responded to my readers’ questions by writing a post. This response came last Saturday when one of the participants of The Naive Wife Trilogy and The Marriage ABCs Readalong that I’m currently hosting posed this question to me:

“What can a single lady (especially a firstborn daughter) do in situations where she is getting pressured by family and friends to get married ASAP? Especially in the context of our African/Nigerian culture.”

My response was simple, and I thought I should put the writing on the wall by sharing today’s blogpost.

Here are some things every woman in this situation should remember:

1. You don’t marry for anyone but yourself. If the marriage doesn’t serve you or your vision for your life, you don’t have to accept it. At the end of the day, it is YOU who will be married to your choice, not them.
2. I doubt in this day and age that anyone is being forced to marry, only that through speech and action, they may be pressured. Allow their talk to enter in one ear and out the other. You can examine their arguments for validity, but remember point no 1. It is YOUR decision. They can talk all they want, but it is for you to say ‘yay’ or ‘nay.’
3. Marriage is a deeply spiritual matter that God is very interested in. It isn’t play. It isn’t ‘let’s try.’ It also isn’t by force. When God establishes it, He blesses it. If God has not led you into it, you will cry later. Knowing the weightiness of marriage, don’t take the decision to marry lightly. Even at the alter, you can say ‘NO.’ That’s why they ASK – “Will you take this man???”
4. The RIGHT man is worth waiting for. The wrong man can RUIN your life. Enough said.
5. Marriage is a faith journey. The truth is not everyone will be so blessed. Singleness is also a gift, not a curse. Keep walking by faith in step with God, and He will either lead you to Mr Right or lead you in singleness to achieve great things for Him. The point is, you will find your way when you keep your eye on Him and not on your desire to marry. Your desire to marry may make you compromise, especially when you see yourself getting older and see others who sin and yet appear to prosper. But marriage is a GIFT you only want to receive from GOD’s hands, not man’s!

I hope these five points of mine sufficiently answers the question for anyone (man or woman) who is single and feeling the pressure of getting married. Take ownership of your life because you will bear every consequence of your decisions. May God be with you.

I’m currently running a promotion on The Naive Wife Trilogy and The Marriage ABCs! Get your discounted copies of the ebook and paperback via my Selar store – https://selar.co/m/ufuomaee

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