Of all the reasons that I know I must marry a man after God’s heart, one of them is often forgotten – the Endtimes. This is probably one of the greatest reasons why we must heed Paul’s instruction not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Cor 6:14).
In that time, Jesus said that ‘the love of many will run cold‘ (Matt 24:12), and that if the time of tribulation wasn’t shortened, that even the elect of God may fall (Matt 24:21-24). This is a time when Christians will literally be strangers on the Earth, exiled to roam around, hunted by servants of the anti-Christ and living by faith on God’s daily provision! Can you imagine having an unbeliever as your husband then? Or even one with lukewarm faith (the kind Jesus hates – (Rev 3:16)), who is easily deceived and forsakes the path of righteousness when tempted or tested? Surely, such will think you are mad to keep believing in God, and will either make you give up the faith or sell you out! No one knows when that time is, so be on guard and prepare yourself – with the right partner!
Jesus asks important questions in Luke… ‘Can the blind lead the blind? Won’t both fall into a pit?‘ (Luke 6:39). The answers are obvious – No and YES! You need your spiritual eyes to survive through the Endtimes. If your husband is faithless, he is blind. Moreover, you are blind for choosing him, and closing your eyes and mind to all the warnings that God gives in the Bible about entering into this holy union. If your wife is blind, like the kings of old, she will compromise your faith and will be your downfall! Do you need such a loose canon? You cannot afford to consort with the enemy, like Samson did and suffered bitterly for. If you want to stand for God, stand for Him in this great matter, and He will prove that He knows what is best for you (Jer 32:17, 19, 27).
The Bible also asks, ‘can two walk together unless they agree?‘ (Amos 3:3). Of course not! Even in business, that is not done. Certainly, you won’t agree on everything, but you must agree on the important things, the greatest of which is God, and His Lordship over your individual lives and marital union. With this matter settled, you needn’t argue about how you will raise your children, which is a primary reason for marriage. You will be in sync with this and many more essential things. This agreement you have between you will mean that you actually LIKE each other, and are friends, not just lovers.
The Bible also says ‘the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom‘ (Pro 1:7). Without that fear, you may never have thought to flee from condemnation and accept the grace of God in Jesus. Not only does the fear of God set a man on the right path, it keeps a man on the right path. We must never lose our fear of God. Now, the fear of God is holy, not like the fear of men and other things. The fear of God is always accompanied by the knowledge that God is a loving God. Even ‘while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us‘ (Rom 5:8), and so our love for God is birthed from knowing that He first loved us (1 John 4:19). Isn’t that how many romances start? Someone shows that he loves you, and you allow yourself to begin to love them back.
The two-fold love and fear of God will keep a Christian on the right path of faith and righteousness. You need to have this, and so does your spouse. If any or both of you don’t have this, your union is in jeopardy. Romantic love does not have the humility, patience, endurance and self-sacrifice of real love, which originates from God and is sustained by God (1 Cor 13). Like Jesus said, ‘I am the Vine, you are the branches‘ (John 15:5), and He commanded that if we are to bear fruit, we must abide in Him. Don’t be fooled by any love that does not originate from and is not sustained by God. It will serve its own purpose, and not the good will that God has for you.
These, and many more reasons (I’m sure you can think of them), are why, if we must, we must marry someone who fears the Lord. l write this as a reminder to myself, and as an oracle to my Christian brothers and sisters, who despite their flesh, submit to the Lord. He knows it is not easy. He walked the Earth Himself, so that He can relate with our experiences. But even when His hour came, and He could have chosen not to die for us, He did so anyway. He said, ‘none taketh my life away, but I lay it down willingly‘ (John 10:18). Such great love requires loving submission from us. Let us fight for our faith, and live worthy of the calling we have in Christ!
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He/she must fear God! You started well with all the fear of God around… What do you do when your spouse seems to deviate along the line, say some yrs into the marriage?
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That’s a hard one, but I suspect the best thing you can do is pray for them and be a standard, an exemplary example that will hopefully win them back to God.