Relationships are not an exact science, and romantic relationships can be tricky. However, there are those who believe there is a formula to making it work. They share their wisdom on how to get a man, how to keep a man, and how to make sure he is faithful to you.

The other day, while listening to such a song in my car, I wondered… It sort of sounds like we are treating men like dogs. We feed them, care for them, try not to bother them with too many demands or responsibilities, give them space to play and run around, and keep ourselves looking fresh and attractive so they don’t stray… It all sounds like good advice, especially if your man is a dog. But maybe there are different rules on living with a friend.

If you’re living with a friend, you wouldn’t start with the expectation that they will run out on you, or the presumption that they will cheat on you. You would believe in their genuine feelings for you and be secure in that understanding. Your faith in your relationship will not hang on whether or not you’re nagging him too much or not giving him enough space or messed up in one way or the other. Because you know you are loved and accepted, you are free to be yourself and do what is reasonable, without trying to manipulate an outcome by behaving in a certain way.

Maybe if your man felt like your best friend, rather than feeling distrusted or manipulated, he would enjoy more time with you than with his mates. Maybe he actually likes your wobbly bits like Bridget Jones. Maybe it’s not as hard as all that to make a relationship work, when you’re actually fully invested in the relationship rather than delegating to your superego. Maybe he is only a dog because you trained him to be one, rather than respecting his manhood and loving his individuality.

By all means, take the good advice, and make reasonable efforts to protect your relationship from foreign agents…but build on trust, not distrust!

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