I’ve been looking through my journals lately, and reflecting on my writings from when I was single… One thing I desired most of all was acceptance and companionship. I realise that it was very important for me to find that in a mate, because it isn’t really about the journey, so much as who you are sharing the experience with, that makes this escapade called life worth it.

I’ve come to realise that marriage is very much like home! It is the place where you feel safe and secure, where you can be your best and worst self, where you can rest from the burdens of life and also enjoy the rewards of your labour. When marriage fails to fulfil these purposes, it can be a nightmare. Like the bad dream you can’t wake up from…

So many times in marriage, we may fantasise about the hotels and resorts that singles experience as their short-lived relationships, and not value the fact that we have a home. We long for the excitement, attractions, fan-fair and vanity that these establishments offer their guests, when the newness and beauty of the home has become old and dull!

You would be hard-pressed to find someone who has been desperately miserable because they have never stayed in a hotel. However, millions are miserable, because they don’t have a home…  Those who are married should therefore be grateful that they have a home; a place where they are always accepted.

Some homes are happy, and some are not.  Some homes feel like just beautiful houses.  They may provide shelter and leisure, but no companionship nor joy.  But even when the house is not grand, when all you have is the basest things necessary for living, where there is love and fellowship, joy and laughter, the home feels like Heaven.

It is your responsibility to make your home what it ought to be.  Don’t settle on building and decorating a house, for appearances’ sake.  The home is made up of those who share it, who dwell in it, who rest in it and who are nourished by it.  When you build up your partner, you build up your home.  But if you tear them down, or neglect them, or look elsewhere for rest and companionship, you will find yourself homeless.  Your marriage will be no more than a house, a prison of sorts…a miserable abode.

Build your home with love and kindness, understanding and trust.  Pray to the Master Builder for wisdom, for times where love is tested, that you may find yourself always faithful in building up and never tearing down.  Then your home shall be a light unto others, a beacon of hope, a testimony that love never fails…

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