Both the people-pleaser and the rebel are alike in that neither are free. They are probably the saddest, most miserable people on earth, because they are slaves to their own imaginations. The former is a slave to other people’s expectations (and spends his/her life TRYING to conform), while the other runs in fear of other people’s expectations (and spends his/her life TRYING to be different). Neither knows nor desires to know who they really are, because their true fear is of failure, and of being a disappointment to themselves and others.
The emphasis is laid on trying because that is the one constant of their lives… They are perpetually carrying a burden, trying to be somebody, without actually letting go and being just as they are. The sad thing is that the conformist never truly pleases anyone, but alienates him/herself from true friends and is miserable. The rebel may succeed in defying people’s expectations for a while, but people adapt their expectations, and he/she soon realises a need to rebel even more. He/she still ends up dancing to the tune of people’s expectations, and is miserably lonely in that no one truly understands him/her.