Daily Medicine

DIET – Did I Eat That?

I hate dieting!  I don’t have the discipline nor the interest in it.  There’s only one successful diet I’ve ever been on for the history of my life, and it lasted one week, which was quite impressive.

I have to confess, I’m not a big fan of eating healthy either.  I think I’ve done well for myself to still be alive and not sick, without watching what I eat so pedantically.  But don’t listen to me.  Do the right thing, follow the Doctor’s advice and have a balanced diet!

I think the worst part of dieting is the part about not eating carbs.  And meat.  Oh and avoiding sweet things too.  I mean, why am I alive?  To eat grass?

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.  For today’s #dailymedicine, I’m laughing at the joke that is dieting.  I’m sure it works for some people, but I’m going to need a prescription (and a straightjacket) to stick to one.

SKIT: Ufuoma at a Salad Bar

Ufuoma: Let me have the green salad.

Attendant:  Any toppings?

Ufuoma: Oh great…  I’ll have some chicken slices on that.  Wait, is that bacon?  Add some of that too.

Attendant: Anything else?

Ufuoma: Yes, please, em…  Can you add some mayo?  And a few slices of the boiled egg?

Attendant: Ummm…  We have salad cream…

Ufuoma: I guess that will do.  Sprinkle some cheese on top too.  Thanks.

Attendant: [sighs]  It’s not really a green salad is it?

Ufuoma: Yeah, well… Can you remove the leaves?

Attendant: Do you mean the lettuce?

Ufuoma:  Yeah…and those long green sticks.

Attendant:  That is the cucumber.

Ufuoma: Yes, please remove that too. Can I have fried tomatoes instead?

Attendant:  It’s a salad bar. We don’t fry vegetables.

Ufuoma: Oh, ok. Do you have sundries ones, though?

Attendant: No.

Ufuoma: Well, can you remove them then? Please?  Let me just add the avocado slices, and take an apple to go.  They are green!

Attendant: Next time, madam, don’t order the green salad!

Photo credit: http://www.bestfunnyjokes4u.com, http://www.julettemillien.com



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