Good evening ma’am. Trust you and yours are doing well. Your stories are really wonderful. I had no choice but to like your page after reading one of your stories. However, without trying to dictate the way you write your stories… I’d love if the sexual aspects ain’t too pronounced-explicit (to me, it’s really pronounced in the Church Girl-Guardian) because of young people who might love stories and decide to follow you. I really hope I won’t be castigated for this. Thanks and God bless you. #Jesus cares
My response to the Reader is slightly modified from our chat, as there was quite some back and forth. I’ve tried to put my thoughts together better.
Sure, you won’t be castigated for sharing your views and I appreciate them. My blog used to be PG 13, because I wasn’t so explicit before… But after I wrote Broken, I became bolder about confronting people’s attitude towards sex. I can no longer say my blog is PG13. By the way, content is marked PG13 when it is appropraite for children with parental supervision.
The majority of my readers who ask my counsel are dealing with the things I write about. Many Christian writers try to keep their content from being so explicit and PG… But what that does is make people think sex is bad. It also doesn’t truly capture the reality of people’s lives.
If I can write a rape scene and people can read it without thinking they need to go rape someone, I should be able to write a sexual scene between a man and his wife that shows the beauty of sex in marriage, without the singles thinking they need to go fornicate. There’s only so much I can do about the impressions people take away from my content. But one thing I would like to make clear is that sex is a normal, beautiful, desirable activity that Christians can and should delight in – in marriage.
Broken is probably the most sexually explicit and profane material on my site, but the message contained within is powerful. If I was to remove it from my site, because it might offend some people’s sensibilities, I don’t think my site nor the world would be a better nor safer place! There is an audience for my stories… They are those who need to appreciate the place of sex in marriage.
Many people act like they can only enjoy sex when they cheat or fornicate, and not in a committed relationship like marriage. And I think that is why a lot of people cheat and fornicate… When we pretend as if married people don’t have sex nor enjoy sex, we propagate such ideas. There are many strong lessons within my stories about marriage. I am not trying to shield anyone…only trying to make sure people are well equipped for marriage.
So you are worried about singles getting aroused by the sexual scenes in my stories. What if they do? Do they need to act on it? So what about Mary and Ifeanyi kissing… Would that be inappropriate for singles to read? What about the benefit of my stories to married people who need inspiration for their marriages?
If you think my writing promotes sexual lust, have you considered the far more damaging emotional lust that causes people to feel they need to be in a relationship to be happy? Romantic stories, no matter how PG, stir up emotional lust in everyone who reads them. Even, and probably especially, the writers. They present a fantasy of what love is, that is sometimes unattainable, and so people may become dissatisfied in their relationships, when they read about others who are enjoying great romance! Or singles may become desirous for marriage, even though they are not ready.
But such stories can also inspire! They can inspire courage, faith and hope. They can teach many lessons about love and faithfulness. It depends on how mature the readers are, and what is already in their hearts. Like the Bible says, to the pure all things are pure (Tit 1:15).
Same with stories with crime and violence. Different people can read them and draw different lessons from them. I suppose it is only the criminally insane (and perverted) that will use them as resources to commit more crimes (or sexual sins). But should people stop writing such literature?
If we write about people who commit sin, we only attest to the reality of our world. Writing about someone stealing and enjoying the rewards for a while, shouldn’t cause any sincere person to want to go ahead and steal too… If we show the damage caused by sin, and the way out, and the grace and power of God in transforming the lives of sinners, then our writing has PURPOSE and POWER. Otherwise, it is pure sensationalism, and carnal.
The Guardian definitely has more romantic and sexual scenes, as it should, because they (Mary and Ifeanyi) are married now. There are different temptations and lessons to learn than the Extended Version, when they were single. If the Extended Version is for singles, then The Guardian is for married people. But both kinds of people, if they are sincere, matured Christians, can appreciate and get something from both. And if they are still in the world, I doubt they will be shocked by my writing, but hope they will be engaged long enough to be transformed by the message!
Maybe I’ll put a notice up on the posts with explicit content…for those who would like to avert their eyes. But as long as someone needs the message and it is available publicly on my blog, I really can’t control who reads it. I actually think my stories are suitable to be classified R16 :). They are not pornographic nor vulgar. I really do try to reign it in, but I want people to relate to it, and so it also needs to be relatable and relevant.
I’m glad you brought this up. Believe me, I was expecting someone to say something. You may appreciate reading the latest post in The Marriage ABCs on S for Sex and Sexuality. Sex is holy and good, and just because many choose to abuse it, does not mean that we can no longer enjoy and appreciate it and hold it in honour! There’s no shame in love and marriage, and there is no shame in sexuality.
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