Issues of Life

The Spotlight: Is I’m Fine The Biggest Lie Of Our Generation?

Happy Weekend, y’all.  I hope it’s going well.  I really do.  It’s been a sad week for many of us, with constant news reports about people who we feel had it going for them suddenly giving up and taking their own lives…  It makes you wonder, how bad was it really?  And how do things get so bad that you can’t even ask for help?

I’ve actually been feeling down lately, and I’ve had to say something about it publicly, via my Instagram page.  There have been an avalanche of things draining me emotionally, and my usual method of therapy has been failing me…that is my blog…  I just don’t know how to be real anymore in the space that once was mine – there’s more to this, but not now.

Anyway, I was quite surprised to hear about Kate Spade and a couple other well known figures who were so depressed that they chose to take their lives…  I also came across this post by Mallami Adekunle this week, where he talked about how we all tend to hide behind “I’m fine”, and shared some of his own struggles.  I had actually been talking to my friend about how saying “I’m fine” puts an end to intimate discussions.  It’s not for real friends who care about each other and have an open and trusting relationship, but for strangers and acquaintances.

Anyway, before I say much more, let me introduce our Author.  Mallami is a blogger and blogs at His tagline reads: “A Literature, Poetry And Lifestyle Blog.  My Words Could Be Your Reality“.  I follow him on Instagram, and this is my first visit to his blog.  I think you might like his content, which is deep, honest and real.

So the topic is IS I’M FINE THE BIGGEST LIE OF OUR GENERATION?  Here’s an excerpt:

Most people are usually scared to discuss critical issues about themselves especially with parents. Maybe they fear people might perceive them as weak or they might not understand or they’d just straight up dismiss them as not serious. I have a friend who says he can’t talk to his parents about his issues because he fears they’d make it a stigma.

The Dad then chipped in with a brilliant perspective which got me wondering as well. He said “We can’t only blame ourselves or be looking for signs everywhere”.

I agree with his perspective. In most societies, it is becoming increasingly hard for people to confide in one another. So most people are known to freestyle their decisions and problems. That mentality of it’s my problem, I can solve it on my own is the motto of people these days. These types of people become so good at hiding their pains over time…” Read more…

Do follow the link to keep on reading, and you can also drop a comment for the author.  I’m sure he’ll find it very encouraging.

So, have you read it all?  What do you think?  Will you think twice now about answering “I’m fine” to the question “How are you?” from your friends and family?  Also will you consider a follow up question to “How are you?” if you receive that standard answer from a familiar friend or family member?  You know, I think even with acquaintances or strangers, we can trouble ourselves to look deeper, especially when other things suggest that the answer “I’m fine” isn’t completely honest.

Like I said in a recent Instagram post, if we are fine ourselves, we would care that someone else isn’t, because happy and good people care about others.  When we stop asking “How are you?” and listening sincerely to the answers, then we are really hypocrites, pretending to care when we don’t really.  It is those who are in pain and hopelessness who struggle to see beyond their situation who may not be able to be attentive, if and when they ask “How are you?”.

So, how do you do?

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