“Dear Ufuomaee,
I need your advice on this issue ma. Last year my husband made a mistake and got a lady pregnant, he begged me and promise to quit the relationship as soon as the lady born the baby, which I agree. But the lady has born the baby since last year but I still see some traces that they both communicate. But any time my husband said he want to go and see the baby the lady born for him I did not allow him to go but the lady do call him. Pls ma, what did you think I can do ma?”
Dear Reader,
Your story is very sad and troubling to me. It’s a very horrible situation to be faced with. You and your husband need professional and godly intervention. But you can’t lead it, because you’re too emotional about it, and the wrath of man never accomplished the will of God.
Your husband doesn’t appear to be submitted to God, which is the beginning on your woes. Now that there’s another baby involved, it’s not just about you and your family anymore. You will need to be as gracious as God with this…you need His strength and grace to abide in His love and will, however long this situation will last.
You shouldn’t be looking for a quick fix because there is none. You just have to take it day by day, moment by moment, grace by grace. You will be forgiving your husband everyday over this issue, because as much as he needs to look after you and your children, he also has paternity obligations to this child and will be constantly battling temptation from the child’s mother.
You need to pray for him. Pray for God to give him a single heart towards you, so that he doesn’t stray again…even though he fulfills his obligations to his illegitimate child. Pray also for your spirit…that it will be filled with love and not bitterness. Pray for the woman. That God will forgive her and save her. That He will bless her with her own husband. That would ultimately end your husband’s obligation and hopefully mean she will no longer be a threat to your union.
Trust God to work everything out for your good. I hope you’re encouraged. God is your ever-present help and stronghold. I wish you all the best.
Sincerely, Ufuoma.
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Grace and Truth 
I can not agree with you more Ufuoma.
Indeed, she also needs the grace of God to have any nothing, but love for the child.
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Thanks for your contribution, Orhue! I appreciate it as always.
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What is in people’s heads, really? The relationship is obviously wasn’t good if he cheated and it is not good if he is still involved with the child’s mother. Why would you insist on something toxic instead of letting him go and be there for his little child? What can be more important than a baby’s life?
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Hi Lou, thanks for reading and responding. I had to read what I wrote again to understand your comment, but I’m still struggling to. You say the relationship wasn’t good because he cheated, and she should just leave him to take care of his child, because the child is most important. I hope you realize that he is her husband, not a boyfriend. And he confessed and repented, so she forgave him and they are building their own relationship and family. The fact that he has a kid due to the betrayal does not mean their relationship is not worth saving. It only means they have an additional challenge. The truth is it all depends on her husband’s sincerity. If he is still messing around, and using the child as a way to continue a relationship with the other woman, then we are dealing with a completely different situation. But if as she said, he made a mistake that he is sorry for and want to save their marriage, by all means, that is what is most important.
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